The Pursuit of Happiness

So last time I posted, I explained how I went into to Suva for a few appointments; well they were more because of my work site. Let’s just say things didn’t quite work out, so I was moved into Suva for a few weeks until Peace Corps was able to find a place that was safe, secure and a health center to work at. Well of course, as I was traveling into Suva that Thursday there was an expected cyclone to hit Fiji that very same weekend. Luckily it veered itself off from Suva, but still hit devastatingly over the west of Fiji including several other volunteers’ hospitals and homes. In Suva, we lost power and water but I had moved into the hotel by Monday so I hadn’t lost too much where as the volunteers in the west are still without power, and were without water for quite some time!!

All of this reminded me of home in Florida!! Cyclones are the exact same as hurricanes, and do just as much damage. But here, the devastation is just felt a little more with little relief and less government funding to the protect the people of Fiji that are left without homes or jobs to go to. Because of Cyclone Evan; 5 people in Samoa were killed and 1 in Fiji. Also due to Cyclone Evan, the entire water system in Samoa is shut down and there was a huge outbreak of Typhoid in the Ba region of Fiji. So much devastation from a cyclone that was originally marked as a non-threat to the people of Fiji; and while that same system is warning of another possible storm making its way down South, more reports say that it may grow cyclonic.

But on a lighter note, during the cyclone I stayed at another volunteer’s house and we had so much fun playing games and just cooking fancy on our non-electrical stoves. Also I spent sometime making cookies at my country directors house with his grandkids! Such a big family!! It reminded me of living in the village with all the kids and I have to admit I missed it so much that for Christmas I decided to go back to my home-stay village and stay with the other family I became really close with there. And Christmas was a blast!! We made a million dishes of food, I saw a pig and cow get slaughtered in front of my eyes and I met my older brother who had been at teacher training college while I was in the village so I hadn’t met him before! Plus on Boxing Day we splashed everyone with water and it just became so much fun trying to get everyone with water secretly! It will also happen New Years Day, so I'm excited to go back to the village again this weekend for that! After that we danced around the house, took naps, drank kava, then went to the river where we swam, jumped off a landing and then just enjoyed each other's company. It was nice to reminded what Christmas was really about without having all the stress of gift giving and the fake face of happiness around family that can sometimes happen during the holidays. All in all a wonderful Christmas, though I have to admit when my grandma and I skyped one day and she began to cry... it really made me miss her and the US!

But even now I still don't know where my new site will be and I've just been hanging out with the Peace Corps staff, a few volunteers, but itching to back to the village to get that cultural exchange. I swear I really do love the Fijian people, even though sometimes they can be difficult to work with I just love what they bring. And for what ever reason maybe I have a better relationship with many of them than most but I'm just really fortunate for that! I can't wait to go back for New Years and I will have a full post to report with hopefully news on my new site then as well!! So talk to you later!! BYE!!!!

Breathe, stretch, shake... Let it go

Over the last six weeks so much has happened its hard to even try to explain, but don't worry, haha I'll try!!

My second week here I met a lot of wonderful people in my village. I was able to do some talking while drinking plenty of yaqona or kava! It's a great tool to get to know people that's for sure!! Even if it is bad for you, in excess anyways.

My third week was thanksgiving!! Also I had conference in Savusavu on the new reporting system in the Ministry of Health, which was actually very enlightening!! And one of the presenters, Siga from Labasa, was amazing!! So knowledgeable! That whole week was pretty crazy, went out to have a couple drinks with two of the other volunteers on Wednesday. Thursday met the other volunteers from the North and other group, then Friday helped another volunteers supervisor with some accounting stuff. Then I met a couple locals of Savusavu and they were so wonderful! That Saturday we went to Labasa to have another Thanksgiving with other PC volunteers, but also JICA and AUSAID volunteers, very international haha. That was a great night because we got to go dancing and its honestly the best medicine for me.

My fourth week was pretty random. My supervisor got really sick so the clinic was closed. On Wednesday I helped with the prize giving or certificate of completion day at one of the local schools, which was so much more fun that I can tell you! The kids danced meke, guys drank grog, and women brought some amazing food. I definitely did not starve the week she wasn't cooking for me. It was cool because I learned how to make a fire and to cook over and open fire. I have to admit I felt very bush at that point. But also this week, PC staff came to visit me and I ended up being able to ride a horse too! Fun!

My fifth week here was short and sweet! I went to a tabu fishing area workshop for all the areas in my district. Two response volunteers were there and it was very informative! Made me want to help my village in that area too! Also, later that week I went to a tuberculosis conference in Labasa! That was pretty cool too, and I liked being able to understand some of the procedures with TB. I stayed the weekend in Labasa, because I got to go to an Hindu-Indian wedding on Saturday, then left Sunday! Of course I missed the bus that would take me straight to my village, so instead I went to Savusavu and took a ridiculously expensive taxi cab home.

My sixth week was nothing short of a weird time for sure: I did some good patient talks on Monday about the importance of not keeping babies coddled up so heavily, then hung out with one of the girls in my village that's home from school. Tuesday I went to town for a bit, then went to the gift exchange party for the women of my village. Did I explain at all of these functions, workshops and conferences I'm eating a ridiculously amount. They won't let you leave the table until they know you're full. I have to start faking my fullness or something haha. I've gained 7 pounds since I've been in the village!! That's crazy!! I ended up having a small medical issue Tuesday night so I talked to the doctor and she said I should come and get a few things checked. So by today I'm in Suva having a few appointments here and there.

All in all an interesting time to say the least!! So much to be thankful for!! Happy Christmas in case I don't post again :) miss everyone back in the states!! With all my love <3

Um... Yes I live in Fiji!

Sites, leaving, Swearing In and my first week at site!!

So after waiting forever, it finally arrived, site announcement day! And I'm on the island I wanted to be on, near one of my closest friends and it's dirt cheap to go see her. Needless to say I am super happy about my site :) can't believe we found out October 26th! It's so weird to think that it was almost a month ago we found out!

Leaving my village in the Tailevu area was really difficult. There is a family that I didn't stay with but they will always be my family. That village is my village and they are my kin and my family. I probably wouldn't have gotten through training as well as I did had it not been for them! I learned how to weave mats, we watched movies, jumped off bridges, rode on bamboo rafts called billibillis, messed around, did church choir together, and became a family. Even now in my own village I call them all the time and tell them how I can't wait to visit in March! It's when all of our birthdays are so I'm going for a week hopefully to spend with them!! They sent me off with a new sulu jaba and a mat for good measure! I took a photo of the whole village coming out to say goodbye to us!! Its below!!

The week we were in Suva was great!! I went out and partied hard the night after swearing in!! Haha I think we earned it for sure! We learned a little more about our sites, how we get there and what's going on! They explained more thoroughly that my village is small and I will work at a district nurse station! Swearing in was sort of surreal! We promised to uphold the values of our constitution and got to meet the ambassador, the Minister of Health, a bunch of old and current peace corps volunteers and the ladies in our group did an amazing MEKE!! (traditional Fijian dance-picture of us below) I still dance and sing the lyrics to this day! I miss my friends from the Peace Corps but since we have this cool little text to talk network on Digicell they're just a free phone call away! But bummer is that I have absolutely no service in my village so I have to go to town more often that not to just make the call in the first place!

The rough and yet cool thing is that I have to travel by ferry to get to my island of Vanua Levu, but it's a 10 hour overnight ferry! I don't mind it but I know not everyone enjoyed the journey! Our rooms weren't air conditioned so while other peace corps volunteers toughed it out, I just went and slept on the floor in the rooms where everyone else was at. So I live about an hour outside Savusavu!! It's a wonderful village filled with great people :) right now I haven't quite moved in because my bure (a traditional Fijian straw house picture below) flooded so I'm living with the nurse but I of course love getting to know her and her amazing son! Her husband is funny too! It's seriously how amazing how welcoming the Fijian people here are. I find myself wondering if they're ever not so cheery or joking. They live by a very no worried be happy attitude. Of course there's a lot more to them than that, but it's all "under the iceberg" as Peace Corps taught us and it's difficult to break into!!

I'm seriously so thankful for my supervisor! She's so progressive and I can't help but think how bored I'd be if she wasn't! I have a picture of her, my closest other PCV on Vanua Levu and I on the compound I'm currently staying in. Sure there are days where I'm just sitting on my butt reading a book, but I get to talk to her patients on her clinic days, go with her on her house call visits, help make presentations and just get to know the area!! We already have long and short term goals and even though we know it will be a rough road we think we could make some great changes since Vanua Levu is still even a couple years behind Viti Levu in some areas!! I wake up sometimes and wonder, am I still living in paradise!? Sure nothing is perfect but I'm surrounded by wonderful people, who are very laid back, and the most beautiful mountains that take my breath away everyday! I know I'm going to have challenges and have already seen some but I mean... There's always a positive to see... HAH I LIVE IN FIJI PEOPLE!!

Six weeks

Let's see, where to even start!!

My picture!! Well that's the traditional grog or yagona drink! They do it for traditional, religious, forgiveness, wedding, and when coming into a village ceremonies! Then some people drink it just to drink it. It's also called kava. It's pretty good but most people can't stand it for some reason. Right now we're learning a traditional dance called a Meke for our swearing in ceremony. We wear grass cuffs, grass skirts with a black skirt under it, and peace corps is giving us a shirt for it! It's really fun and I'm super excited for that. Everyone has been really sick this past week so moral has been pretty low, but we've been pretty on our game every other week so I don't think staff is too upset with us. The roller coaster of emotions is truly a serious ideology that many people thinking about joining the Peace Corps need to understand, even people who have been away from home long periods of time. It's not about the being away, it's some of the difficulties that people can deal with; in terms of village problems, or problems that can arise because of the way your home-stay family may react towards things! But honestly it's been an amazing experience!!

Next Friday I will find out where I'll be living for two years and what I'll be doing! I'm so excited. All 25 peace corps trainees leave next Sunday from our villages to Suva (the capital) which will be weird. A lot of my hopes of getting awesome gifts for my home stay are totally getting dashed, but besides that things are amazing!! We went on a host volunteer visit and I got to be one of the lucky recipients who went to Vanua Levu to visit a volunteer who lives an amazing village surrounded my some of the most beautiful scenery I've seen in Fiji yet! Besides having the most perfect time, I learned so much about the culture in Fiji. The amount of Fijian the volunteer knew was a little intimidating but she's been here for 16 months now! I know it's too far away to think about it but I'm excited to host my own volunteer next year!! This week I am learning how to weave a big floor mat and one of the kids made me a fan!! I hang out with his family a lot, and his older brother in the village is the local monkey so I get coconut water almost daily. Their family is so good to me! They told me they asked to have a volunteer but since their shower and toilet are too far away from the house itself they weren't allowed one. This whole "coconut wireless" ideology is pretty remarkable, when they mean the whole village will know in a millisecond they mean it!! People talk about the smallest details too and it goes through our village and to other villages as well!! Haha one of the other trainees calls it the coconut internet because it's almost broadband fast.

Well there's not much else going on here, I miss my amazing friends and family back in the states! Today's my sisters birthday! Happy 11th birthday Hannah Rose! I love you with all my heart baby girl <3

I'm in FIJI!!

I'm so sorry about not being able to upload a post my iPad is having technical difficulties right now without being aligned with the Fiji network plus the SIM card is stuck!!! :( But life here is amazing! Seriously even here I somehow live like a princess, most of the trainees don't but I somehow (again) have gotten the best of the best. Most people live and eat on the floors, I have a comfy bed and have couches plus a table to eat on. I get corn flakes and most of them get curry/rice maybe a fried something for breakfast! SOO SPOILED!! I'll try to post again soon but just know that I'm happy and life here is amazing. You wouldn't think that so many people live here in poverty but it's truer than true. People here need help, especially with their problems with NCD's which is where my Peace Corps group will come in. Our jobs and sites won't come until the last week of October so I probably won't post again until then but this place is amazing. It can't disappoint, I'm sure I'll have down days especially when things don't work out and from what it sounds like I might live in the main island because most of us have really great technical training skills for the people and medical centers of Fiji but we don't know anything until then. I can't wait to find out!!

My homestay house I have been staying in is a princess house. There's no other words. Then the family is seriously amazing, and I'm not sure how I got so lucky. The other 24 volunteers here too are seriously crazy intimidating and perfect, but from what it sounds like we ALL think similar things. It's crazy to think how much we all agree on how amazing our group is too, I'm sure I'm not the only one gushing!! We have long term nurses, EMT's, DOCTORS, crazy travelers, everything. Our age ranges are actually pretty random too. 1/3 of us are over 35 "seasoned" but very experienced in the medical field, 1/3 of us 26-34 and in the middle of life stages, and then 1/3 of us are just out of college. It's crazy how different we all are. I'm so proud and excited to see what we do in the coming years, our group is out of this world with our resumes combined we could probably find solutions to most Fiji problems! (haha too optimistic but seriously they're crazy amazing). Plus the staff is really great to us!! Our country director and his wife love Fiji so much they've lived here almost longer than they did in the states. I can honestly see why!!

I have so many people to thank for all of their amazingness and so many friends and some great people who have entered my life this year that I couldn't have even been able to understand this experience without them!! First my dad, he's been phenomenal and seriously even though we fight all the time I love him more than anyone. My grandma, she is my saving grace, enough said. Anne, thanks for being awesome! My beautiful siblings! Seriously you are perfect and I miss you everyday <3 I think about you every time I look in the face of another child. My family overall is seriously just phenomenal. My little, Sam Pastran, she hasn't forgotton about me yet and it makes me so happy. My best friends Justin, Madison, Shannon, Frank, and Amanda! I miss you more than you'll ever understand :) Just know I think about you almost everyday if not everyday! I'll try to get a hold of all of you when I can! Stacy Hopkins and Nonnie Owens, please know your giving grace will always stay with me, I think about your kindness and know you have given me more than just gifts to help me here but intangible gifts no one can see but me! I love you both so much <3 I will always go back to Fort Myers for you two! :) Staging was amazing and really overwhelming, the place ride over too! It's weird to think I'm a Peace Corps trainee right now. Or that I've just spent an hour on the internet! Obviously I've been having withdraws.

I leave today...

So today I leave for Fiji.

Last night we had a nice meeting with the other trainees. I'm not sure of much besides the fact that today I will know more about my time in Fiji and get to know the other trainees a little better. I'm excited, nervous, anxious and ready to go! I was so fortunate to see so many people across Michigan and Florida! I'm already missing everyone but I know this experience will be fulfilling to say the least!! I will promise to listen to what my dad says and make the best out of every situation, everyday, even when I want to cry lol.

Today, I got to know a little more about a couple of the other trainees and it makes me really excited to see what we all focus in once we're there. The group seems really well educated and come from all different educational backgrounds!! It's sounds like we have a really driven group of people, so I think it'll be crazy to see what we all do with our two years in Fiji!

Well... We're about to leave for sessions! :) hope everyone is having a great time in school!! I love you all and thank you so much for all you have given to me over my last four years and especially everyone who helped me with my Fiji packing list!!

Neerrrrrvvvouuusss me

Some Fiji Facts

So Fiji... Wow. Fiji. FeeeeeJeeee

For those of you irate with jealously, don't worry your country will be just as cool... Sort of ;) or for those who are dear enough to me to read my blog...just come visit so you can see all the beauty that Fiji has to offer to!! But let's have a little history lesson while we wait the arduous 7 weeks before I leave!

The Republic of Fiji is composed of 332 islands, of which approximately 110 are inhabited, spanning approximately 500,000 square miles of the South Pacific Ocean. It is known as the soft-coral capital of the world and thousands of miles of coral reef thread throughout the islands. It is home to a population of approximately 883,000 people.

Fiji obtained its independence from Britain in 1970. A succession of coups - in 1987, 2000, and 2006 - has left Fiji struggling to regain political and economic stability. Leaders of the most recent coup in 2006 established an interim government led by Commodore Bainimarama. The Fijian Court of Appeal declared the December 2006 coup and the interim government unlawful and the 1997 constitution was abrogated. A state of emergency was imposed in April, 2009 and in July 2009 the interim cabinet appointed Epeli Nailatikau, a former military commander, diplomat, and speaker of the House of Representatives as the new President.

Following the coups, Fiji has suffered a high rate of emigration of skilled and professional personnel, causing shortages in the service sectors and in the areas of education and healthcare. Half of the population lives below or close to the poverty line, particularly in rural areas. Over-fishing and environmental degradation have reduced food security from traditional sources. Revenues from tourism, expatriate remittances, and exported sugar and garments remain the largest contributors to the economy, though these have dramatically fallen with the current worldwide recession. Fiji ranks 86 of 169 comparable countries on the Human Development Index (composite indices .669), and places above the regional average of East Asia and the Pacific (composite indices .650).

The currency of the country is the Fijian Dollar.

Although the country has a combination of both native Fijians and Indians it is an English Speaking nation. They do however speak their own dialects but all staff at resorts, restaurants, shops and the like are English speaking.

One of the most common words you hear in Fiji is a cheerful "Bula". This is the Fijian word for "hello" but in Fiji it can also mean a plethora of other things too!

The country's capital is Suva which is located on the eastern side of the main Island, Viti Levu. Suva is also the largest city in Fiji and contains one of the two ports in the country.

Fiji’s current government is headed by the military, per the 1999 constitution. In April 2009, Prime Minister Bainimarama and then-President Iloilo nullified the constitution, restricted the press, and pushed the date for elections to 2014. As a result, Fiji was excluded from the British Commonwealth and the Pacific Islands Forum and has ongoing disputes with other countries over its governance, most notably with Australia and New Zealand.

Indigenous Fijians have a well-developed local system of government, beginning at the village (koro) level. Each village is represented by a village headman (turaga ni koro), who is elected by the villagers. Villages are grouped into 18 districts (tikina) and these districts are grouped into 14 provinces (yasana). The Fijian Affairs Board appoints a “Roko Tui” to head each province.

Indo-Fijians and other non-Fijians are served by a provincial administration that represents ministries at the local level, provides funding for infrastructure projects, and maintains government services. An advisory counselor represents Indo-Fijians’ and other non-indigenous Fijians’ interests at the provincial level. The traditional sociopolitical governing system of the indigenous Fijian people is the chiefdom system. The chief can be male or female, though most are male. The Fijian word for chief is ratu for men and adi (pronuounced “andi”) for women. The chief has sovereign power over the people of his or her village.

(references: Wikipedia, Fiji Welcome book, and CIA World Factbook!)

INVITATION!!!!! FIJI!!!!

HELLOOOOO FIJI!!! 

  Or should I say Bula!! Can't believe it!! I'll be leaving September 4th for 27 months to Fiji!!! :) 

  The unfortunate part is that I am in Ghana still so I haven't actually received my invitation just a welcome packet, and job assignment!! I will be working as a Community Health Promotion Facilitator! Working with several different outreach programs with a long range of items to educate communities on! 

  Of course the over achiever in me has already looked up information from WHO, the Peace Corps Fiji Program Evaluation, and the Fiji Health Systems Review. Yea I'm awkward like that. The opportunities are endless! Can't believe I ended up in Fiji when I was so sure I'd be in Africa!! Everyone keeps telling me we've hit the Peace Corps lottery and I can't help but agree. Not only will this be a great experience but if I live in a more rural village, and when family arrive they can see both sides and still get an actual vacation out of it too!! Now I know since there are 8 weeks away something could happen to not go through but I'm hoping for the best!! 

  Just want to give a shout out to everyone who has been following or supporting me through this process! Thank you so much for everything :) can't wait to see what the next few years bring!! 

Dreams...they do come true!

Not to put all my eggs in one basket as I am still two months away from when I could possibly leave... But after speaking with my placement officer and getting the questions such as: How is your family support, where are you in terms of safety and precautions, what have you been doing to live the life of a volunteer, really everything that they should but after the phone call and a check with legal my placement officer emailed me the most amazing news, I did the happiest happy dance I've done in years:

Hi,  

I checked with the Legal Eligibility  Office and was informed that your ticket was/is not a problem. So, I am clearing you for Peace Corps service and issuing you an invitation to serve in a Peace Corps health assignment departing for the Pacific Islands September 4th .  However, there is one condition.  I will need a final transcript that has the words “degree conferred” and the date by the first week of August at the latest.    

Your invitation should arrive in 5-10 business days.  After reading through your invitation materials, please contact me if you have any questions or concerns.   Otherwise, please follow the detailed instructions in your invitation packet on how to accept your invitation.  

Thanks for the information regarding your address. I suspect that our mail room will not be too keen about sending a packet to an addresses in Ghana without numbers.  Therefore, I would be inclined to use the P.O. Box address, as it seems a bit “safer” if you will."

seriously can't believe this...

Sometimes I really do wish I was a crier. I feel amazing. I know it's all speculation and things could happen to make me not be apart of it but... Im on cloud 9 right now so I'm just thinking about all the positives. I probably won't be too crazy until I'm on that plane over and have fully be swore in after training to know that everything is real, but until then I'll be in my dreamland just happy to know that my dreams are coming true. <3 thank you everyone for their support. It's been an amazing ride just to get this far. I love you daddy, my life would mean nothing without you.

PLACEMENT OFFICER!!!!

Ahhhhhhhhhh omg!

I just received this email:

Hi,  

Greetings from the Peace Corps Placement Office.  My name is B and I am your Peace Corps Placement Officer. I believe that you are overseas now; however, I would like to arrange a time for a final interview for Peace Corps Suitability. Please let me know a number where you can be reached and a time this week (or next) when you are available to speak for 30min or so. I can call internationally, and am usually in the office from 8:30 AM EST through 5:30 PM or so.

  Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns.



Then we confirmed to talk Wednesday evening after I get done with my after school club I have here in Ghana!! Ohmygosh!! I'm so excited!! I'll keep you posted for more news!!!!

Peace Corps, Peace Corps, Peace Corps :)

It's taken me a while to update because well... I did have some complications with my grades unfortunately but I got really lucky and found an online Developmental Psych class at the University of Florida through their Flexible learning department. It's all set up and I'm just working on submitting my final projects now while I'm in Ghana. Yay for my last class as an Undergrad!! It's amazing how one mistake can feel like the end of the world one day, then a great life lesson the next. I'm sad it's postponed my assurance with the Peace Corps but I'm really privileged to have such a supportive father to assist with my bigger mistakes that cost me. 

But bad news aside I talked to my pre placement officer and am passed preliminary review!! I'm not sure how well off that makes me but I can only pray that it means I am headed in a good direction!! It's a little difficult living in a small village in Ghana and trying to be patient with all this down time. I can only hope my trials in Ghana will prepare me for a more successful time with the Peace Corps. 

Something funny I did realize is that, it's okay to be nervous about living in a developing country. I was really excited for my time in Ghana but then realized a lot of the experiences I'd have and wasn't sure I'd be ready for them. Bucket baths, power outages, limited Internet access, no air conditioning, different foods, constantly being reminded I'm a foreigner, limited wardrobe, lots of downtime, slowing down the go go go attitude, all of that. And yet, those are some of the easiest things I've adjusted to, if not real problems at all!! 

I think the biggest difficulties I've overcome were missing my family, talking to my friends everyday, not knowing if I am making a lasting impact, evaluating my worth to the community and certainly how uncomfortable I can get when I'm not in control of the situation and can't express how I feel in their language!! But even with all that to think about I can only say, I am so glad my time in Ghana is what it is because it has prepared me for so much. I won't lie and say I don't get down on myself but most days I think how happy I am here and wonder if I'll ever want to leave. I've read so many Peace Corps blogs that I'm starting to understand what some of them are talking about. I'm glad too because it's made me understand how committed I am to joining the Peace Corps and how I know it's the right avenue for me because of the personal journey it has taken me through already with the application process. I really want to do whatever I can to make an impact, understand more cultures, put myself out there and initiate change as much as I can!! 

My time in Ghana is amazing, and I'm so thankful to all the people that helped me get here. Crossing my fingers for good news with a placement officer soon!! Thanks for reading!! Good luck to you if you're going through similar struggles.

Graduating? Maybe..maybe not

This past semester has been crazy and I never would've thought I could let myself go the way I have; not necessarily physically but mentally. My grades are slipping, my motivation is closing, my ability to persevere is dissipating, everything seems to be slipping away. I didn't think I could be as burnt out as I am, and I want to leave for Ghana for almost four months?? What was I thinking? I'm crazy, but I love myself enough to know it's okay.

So here's my dilemma of the week: I wasn't a responsible student and slacked off in one class- Developmental Psychology. I went to class for the first month, and realized that I wasn't learning a thing: the class was 8 am, the professor was terrible and disastrously boring, his drone was worse than Stephen Hawkins and the topic just as bland. I am probably too much of a skeptic to believe in Developmental Psychology, but regardless I have earned roughly a 69% (not sure exactly because he hasn't graded 4 major sections of our entire grade) in the class probably but need a 70% to pass the class and graduate. I'm not asking for an A, I'm not asking for 10 points. I'm not saying that he should "give me" an extra point, I said I would earn it if possible. This is just being ridiculous and it's frustrating. I'm freaking out. I've never been in this predicament before. I'm sorry to rant, but this could make or break being apart of the Peace Corps.

But here's the good news for the week in relation to the Peace Corps

PEACE CORPS UPDATE

I received an e-mail April 16th asking for my updated resume, completed "graduated college transcripts" and an experience portfolio of the past year.
This is exciting news, but just as stressful due to the problems of me graduating. But I guess that's life.
Ghana is so close, I can taste it. I'm nervous though. I'm going to miss the states.
I have a lot of thank you letters to write in the next couple of days; there have been so many people who have helped me get to where I am right now. I have no idea where I would be without so many of them. My greatest gift from God has been the blessings he gave me from my university. Truly a remarkable place.
But onto other things... if I do graduate, which I hope and pray that I do, my resume and experience will be wonderfully updated well enough to hopefully make a great candidate to leave in September as nominated!! :)

God please bless me and the path that I pursue in these next five months!

As always, thanks for reading :)

Anxiety

Officially Medically Cleared, 34 days until Ghana, 29 until Commencement... reality hits.

I am really doing all that I thought. I submitted my service learning hours, just the basic ones even though when I went through my service at FGCU I had well over 400- but I didn't have the time to drive over to every supervisor just to get them signed especially since my car isn't working. Haha this time my tire blew and unfortunately with Ghana to pay for and visa applications, vaccinations and malaria pills also clothes to pay for items for my car are the least of my worries.

It's all so real and it gets really scary. The start of something new, the idea of figuring out where I'm going in my life. I have all the emotions inside of me, ones that I've just started to even acknowledge, let alone try to understand them. I'm nervous about graduating. What if my GPA is too low? Over a 3.0 means you're "above average" but I've always thought of myself as an Exceeds Expectations kind of person. I've always been a "goody-two shoes" and have enjoyed my naivete in many of my paths throughout college, but am learning what it means to be "put together". Just because you're a mess on the inside doesn't mean you need to show it. I used to be good at that, but with all this pressure from family, friends, professors, mentors, advisers, Student Government, Housing (Resident Assistant stuff), boys, jobs, really just life in general, I'm more anxious than ever.

I'm anxious to leave for Ghana, but in an great way. To make a difference in the months that I'm there, to experience life in a completely different culture than I've ever experienced. I'm anxious about all this work I still have to do for my classes, it's extensive: a grant proposal, two research papers, two final exams, two presentations and a service project that I have no clue how I'm going to finish in time, 20 credits my senior semester wasn't my smartest move. I'm anxious to graduate, more so because it means I did it in four years and have a hell of a resume to show for it. I'm anxious to wonder if my dad is proud of me. I'm anxious to think about all the things I've been through in these past four years, what a way to live life. I'm anxious about where I'll be in 5 months. Will I be leaving for Africa again? Or will I be in D.C living with my best friend, figuring out what I can do to make a difference in the HIV/AIDS community there. I'm just a bit anxious about that.

I have been so privileged over my last four years. To have finally met my mother, to have met my two best friends that will be by my side until the day I die, to have met the most wonderful little sister I could've ever dreamed of, to have seen love, to have seen life, to have seen hard work and perseverance make a difference, I have been so honored to have served the students of my university, gosh I just can't explain it. I have lived my life in such a crazy pace, from my very first breath I never stopped going. I am blessed by God to know that I have been given and searched for the resources to make my dreams a reality.

This Peace Corps process, though daunting has been such an experience in itself. Learning patience, perseverance etc. I have learned more about who I am, and have pushed myself to be better. I still make mistakes but I acknowledge them and recognize when I am acting as a bad person would. But then again there are no bad people, just mistakes and insanity.

I am so proud to be a member of the Peace Corps Family and can not wait until I hear from my placement officer!! It will be an amazing experience to discuss all the things I might have the ability to do while I'm serving.

So privileged. So honored. So Anxious.

have a great month of April everyone :)

And so the real waiting game begins...

Hi again!! I know it's been a while since I've posted and who can really blame me... since the last time I posted my life was going crazy and well it's gotten crazier. I don't know who-where-what-why etc but lets start from the beginning of December and work my way to today.

So in December it was really crazy because I wasn't doing too well in a class, and I had a lot of work going on between my two jobs and my car wasn't working for a good month so I had to figure out rides to and from/to and from everywhere: it was pretty harsh. But then I found out that a couple of Resident Assistants were let go due to alcohol incidents and I received an e-mail saying that they'd like to re-interview me for the position. Well low and behold I RECEIVED THE Resident Assistant position! Woo awesome. Here's the catch, I wasn't allowed to go to Belize if I took up the position. Well I'm glad I did, it was well well worth it but now... I'm just crazy busy. Between Resident Assistant, Student Government Pro Tempore, my third job, being a mentor for emerging eagles, being the diversity night site leader for the alternative spring break, being in Chi Omega and just well you know trying to graduate with all of my classes life has been difficult. Plus trying to get the money to pay back all of my credit cards, save up for Ghana, trying to get my car fixed and then work on paying all my monthly bills: It's been a rough couple of months.

I finally got my act together recently but it's just been a long process. I'm super busy and trying to just figure everything out :)

I'll keep you posted on everything that's going on in Peace Corps life now though.

I'm excited to say that I finally submitted my medical paper work and was total last week that they're reviewing my file!! I even got a nice little check back for all of my medical receipts which was nice and exciting! :) Gotta love the government sometimes.

We'll see how long the wait is. Hopefully I'll find out something early April and get an invitation later in May or June. That would honestly make my life.

LETS ALL PRAY FOR ME PLEASE <3